


It's ok to be scared

by southernbellesoccer



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-02-07 16:34:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1905993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/southernbellesoccer/pseuds/southernbellesoccer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain Christie has to help the young couple realize that it's ok to be scared as long as they are willing to talk to each other about how they feel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ali sighed as she saw a little family come and start setting their stuff down on the sand a few yards away from her beach blanket. They had a little girl who looked to be maybe three or four, and then they had a little baby that Ali figured couldn’t be more than 8 months old. She turned her head away from them as she continued to lay out and closed her eyes as she let her hand drift to the small swell of her belly that was uncovered by her bikini. 6 more months. She had six months to adjust to the idea of having two babies instead of just one.

Ali could hear her wife still playing with the Rampone girls. Christie and Chris had invited them up to spend a few days with them so they could enjoy the beach. Christie knew both women were a little nervous about adding their new little additions to their family and figured it would do them some good to relax at the beach and play with the girls. Ali was almost in a completely relaxed state, something that had become unusual for her since her doctor’s appointment last week, until she felt drips of water falling on her body and the sun was suddenly blocked. 

“Ashlynnnn” she groaned, knowing that it had to be her wife disturbing her sunbathing. 

“Hey, baby.” She heard as the blanket slightly tugged underneath her, indicating that the blonde was laying down beside her. Ali then felt Ashlyn’s hot breath hit the side of her neck before she felt Ashlyn’s hand slip on top of her hand to cover her stomach. 

“Are you finished playing?” Ali asked.

“Taking a break. The girls are working on a sand castle. I told them not to go in the water without me.”

“Mhmmmm. Smart wife.” Ali said as she blindly reached up to pat her wife’s cheek. 

Ashlyn chuckled and leaned in to place a kiss to her wife’s neck. “I try. I got to learn to be responsible so you will trust me with our children.” She joked as she moved her hand to rub Ali’s baby bump.

Ali giggled. “I already trust you, stupid. That’s why I agreed to have children with you.”

Ashlyn was about to respond when Reece and Rylie came running up and that caused Ali to finally open her eyes and sit up. “Hey, girls! Are you having fun?”

Both girls nodded furiously. “Can we have a snack?” Reece asked as she plopped down on the blanket in front of Ali, and the word ‘snack’ made Ashlyn pop up. 

“Yeah, can we?” Ashlyn asked excitedly. 

Ali giggled. “Sure thing.” She reached over to the cooler and grabbed out the grapes and cheese that Christie had packed along with three capri-suns. She got Rylie and Reece settled before handing Ashlyn a capri-sun. 

“Thank you, baby.” Ashlyn grinned at her and stuck the straw in the pouch. 

“No problem.” Ali watched everyone eat and asked the girls how school was going and listened to them intently. 

Ashlyn smiled, but then noticed that Ali hadn’t eaten anything and her smile slightly dropped. She nudged Ali with her elbow to get her attention. “You should eat something, princess.”

“I’m not hungry. I haven’t been playing as hard as the three of you.” 

“But the babies might be hungry. Don’t make me tell Christie that you’re not eating properly. She’ll go all mama bear on your ass.” Ashlyn whispered so the girls wouldn’t hear her. 

Ali stiffened next to her wife and Ashlyn saw. She knew that Ali was having problems with the idea of having twins, but she had yet to get Ali to open up to her about why it scared her so much. Some couples have trouble just having one child through artificial means, they should consider themselves lucky to be blessed with two. 

Ashlyn wrapped an arm around her wife and moved in closer to her. “Just eat some grapes at least. Ok?” she said as she placed a kiss to Ali’s temple.

Ali nodded and grabbed some grapes before settling into her wife’s side and continued to watch the girls enjoy their snack. 

The girls finished up their snack and were ready to go back and play in the water.

“Wait!” Ali called out to them as they started to run off. “Let me put some more sunscreen lotion on you before you go back in the water.” 

Both girls came back over to Ali and she pulled the sunscreen out and sprayed them both down before letting them run off.

“I should go join them.” Ashlyn groaned as she stood up from the blanket. 

“Let me put some more sunscreen on you too.” Ali insisted as she stood up also to spray down her wife.

“See, I don’t know why you’re so worried about twins. You’ve handled me and both of those girls like a pro-mom today.” 

Ali rolled her eyes. “Watching over them is a lot different than having two newborns, Ashlyn.”

Ashlyn just sighed, not wanting to get into this when they were in public. “I know, baby, but you’re not alone.” Ashlyn insured her before giving her a quick peck and running off to join the girls.

~~ ~~

They got back to the Rampone house and Christie hurriedly ushered both of her girls upstairs to get cleaned up. When Christie came back downstairs Ali announced that she was going up to the guest bath to clean up also. 

After Ali had made her way upstairs, Ashlyn turned to Christie with a look of concern. 

“I know that look, Harris. Tell me what’s up?” Christie insisted as she led them into the kitchen and began preparations for dinner. 

“She’s terrified, Christie. I don’t know what to do!”

Christie sighed, she knew this was going to come up soon. She could see it in both of the young women's eyes. They were scared...for different reasons. “Ok, what do you think scares her so much?”

Ashlyn threw her hands up. “I don’t know! That’s what gets me. We knew that it was a possibility that we could have more than one baby when we did the procedure. But ever since the doctor confirmed that it was twins last week, she has been freaking out about how she wasn’t prepared for that. I don’t know what to do.”

“Twins are a big responsibility. I know that I would have had a hard time dealing with twins and my schedule when I was still playing soccer.” Christie tried to reason.

“So you think she’s worried about her career?” Ashlyn asked in defeat. 

Christie shrugged. “That could be it. Two babies is a lot of responsibility. And on top of that, aren’t you two still living in the same apartment? Two bedrooms, one bathroom?”

Ashlyn nodded.

“Well, that’s something else to add to Ali’s stress. Two bedrooms is fine when you have one child or if the twins happen to be the same gender, but what if you have a boy and a girl? You guys will probably have to look at moving.”

"Moving?" Ashlyn asked with a gulp.

“Yes, moving.” Christie nodded. She knew that she needed to bring Ashlyn down on the realistic level because she knew the concerns that Ali would have without even having to ask. Ali was always the kind to think everything through, while Ashlyn was more of a 'take action' kind of person. “You’re also talking about buying two of everything. Two cribs, two carseats, two highchairs. Two sets of doctor bills. You and Ali knew that you could financially handle a child but are you in the position to handle two?”

Ashlyn was getting frustrated now. She expected for Christie to be helpful not discourage her. “And what’s the solution?! We’re having two babies. We can’t save one and have it a couple of years from now when we can afford it. We are having two babies, 6 months from now, whether we are ready or not!” 

Christie chuckled. “I know that, Ashlyn. And I’m not saying that you and Ali can’t handle twins, because I know that you can. You both will be incredible moms, but you really need to sit down and talk to Ali now about everything. She doesn’t need to be stressing about all of this stuff. It’s not good for her or the babies.”

Ashlyn sighed and laid her head down on the counter as she sat down on a bar stool. “I know. I just wish she was as excited about having the babies as I am. I just feel like she feels the whole thing is a mistake. And I want to be excited and looking forward to the two little blessing that we are being given but it’s hard to do when she’s not excited with me. I suddenly feel like she’s so scared of having two babies that she doesn’t want one at all and I don’t know what to do!” 

By the time Ashlyn was finished venting to Christie, she was close to tears. 

Christie looked up from the stove to see Ashlyn’s head buried in her arms, face down at the counter with her shoulders slightly shaking, and behind her was Ali, standing there with tears streaming down her face and one hand cupped over her mouth to control her sobs and the other hand clutching her stomach. 

Christie smiled sadly at the two women before turning the stove off and walking over to Ashlyn. She put a hand on Ashlyn’s shoulder to get her attention and motioned Ali to come over. “I’m going to give you two some time to talk. You’re both scared and that’s ok. Talk it out.”   
Their captain told them before walking out of the kitchen to give them some privacy. 

They had a minute of silence between them before Ashlyn finally stood from her chair to get a glass of water. She brought it over to Ali and held it out. “Here. Take a sip of this. You need to calm down.” Ashlyn told her.

Ali nodded and took the glass of water before taking a sip. Ashlyn guided her over to the bar stools and had her sit down. 

“This isn’t a mistake.” Ali whispered out.

Ashlyn looked up at her. “What?”

“This isn’t a mistake. Our babies, I mean.” She clarified as she dropped a hand to rest on her stomach. “You were right, they’re a blessing. They both are. And I’m so happy that I get to raise them with you and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel otherwise. I am excited, but I’m scared also.” Ali admitted.

“I’m scared too. And I should have known that you would be concerned about the money stuff, but I honestly didn’t even think about it until Christie pointed out how we’re going to have to buy two of everything. And we’ll have to see about moving sometime in the future. We could stay in our apartment while the babies are little but we’ll eventually have to get a bigger place. It’s a lot to handle all at once. I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.”

Ali giggled and reached out to grab Ashlyn’s hand. “It is a lot to handle. Buying two of everything does sound intimidating, even with my mad shopping skills. But even though we have to buy two of everything, we also get two beautiful babies to love. I guess what really scares me is the idea that I’m responsible for taking care of three people right now. I’m carrying our two children and two just seems so different then the idea of carrying one.”

“You have me. I’ll take care of all three of you.” Ashlyn said seriously as she put both hands on the side of Ali’s stomach.

Ali smiled. “I know that. Thank you, baby. I love you…and both of our babies. I can’t wait to meet them.”

Ashlyn cheekily grinned at her. “I love you too, and I can’t wait to meet them either. They’ll be beautiful, just like their mommy.”

Ali giggled and leaned in to kiss her wife. Ashlyn smiled into the kiss and pulled Ali close as her hands remained protectively on the sides of Ali’s belly. What they didn’t know was that Christie was peeking into the kitchen to make sure everything was alright. The older woman shook her head and smiled as she saw the young couple. She was confident that those two would make great parents.


	2. Part 2

“Ashlyn, make sure you give Nathaniel his medicine before his food.” Ali instructed her wife who had one of their twin boys in the highchair beside her. The baby boy had a cold that they were trying to get rid of before his brother caught it.

“Already gave it to him, baby.” Ashlyn said as she stuck the spoon into the baby food and started feeding her son. 

“Good wifey. Always one step ahead.” Ali praised her and leaned over for a quick kiss before turning her attention back to their other son who was in the highchair beside hers. She popped open the jar of baby food and started looking in the diaper bag for the spoon. “Ash, where is Benjamin’s spoon?” 

“Right side pocket.” The goalkeeper responded without looking up from feeding the other boy.

Ali quickly found the spoon and as she went to feed Benjamin his first bite of food she saw Nathaniel reach out and grab the jar of baby food before Ashlyn could stop him. Two seconds later Ali was reaching over her wife with a napkin and cleaning up her baby boy. “You have to watch him, babe. He’ll make a mess of himself and you if you’re not careful.” She warned her wife.

“Yes. Ma’am.” Ashlyn said with a fake salute while still holding the baby spoon. 

Ali just giggled and gave her attention back to Benjamin. 

Christie observed the pair from several people down. Everyone was out for a team dinner and this was Ali’s first camp back after giving birth to the twins. Which also meant it was the first time the pair had to deal with the babies and soccer. 

“They’re good at that.” A-rod commented from beside Christie when she noticed her watching the new parents. 

Christie nodded and smiled at the memory of the two of them having a good cry-fest in her house almost a year ago. “I always knew they would be.”

~~ ~~

“Do you need help with anything else?” Lauren asked as she set the diaper bag and carseat that she was carrying down in the couple’s room. 

“I think that’s it. Thank you so much for helping.” Ali said as she held Nathaniel in her arms. He had unfortunately fallen asleep in the defender’s arms and he was such a bad sleeper that they didn’t want to risk trying to move him into his carseat so Lauren carried Nate’s stuff while Ashlyn carried Ben in his carseat and the other diaper bag. 

“Not a problem.” Lauren said honestly. “I was actually hoping I could talk to guys for a minute.” She said almost nervously.

“Of course.” Ashlyn said with a smile as she got Ben situated and then helped Ali sit comfortably on the bed while still holding Nathaniel against her chest. 

“How did you guys know that it was the right time to have a baby?” she asked. 

The married couple’s eyes went wide in surprise at the question even though they weren’t particularly shocked that Lauren and her husband might be thinking about children. 

“Well it wasn’t really my career that it affected so I’ll let Alex take the lead on this.” Ashlyn replied and nodded towards her wife. 

Ali accepted the challenge and gave the midfielder an encouraging smile. “To be honest, it was an easy decision to get pregnant. We wanted to have a baby so bad. I literally dreamt about it every night. I just knew I was ready and missing soccer didn’t even matter to me at that point. The hard part was when I was actually pregnant. It sucked coming here to camps with Ashlyn and not being able to play. It sucked seeing all of my teammates out their fighting for a win on the field and not being able to help them. And I was scared when I found out I was having twins.”

“And it scared the shit out of her when she found out that we were having two BOYS!” Ashlyn interrupted with a chuckle.

Ali just giggled and shook her head. “Yes, the thought of two boys terrified me.” She admitted. “But I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” She said with a kiss to her sleeping baby’s head that was lying in her arms. “Honestly, Chen, if you want a baby then you’ll know when the right time is. It can be hard and it can be scary. But it’s worth it. You’ll know in your heart. I promise.” Ali concluded with a sweet smile.

Lauren sighed and then looked over to the couple’s other sleeping baby lying in the portable crib. “I guess I should talk to Jrue then.” She said with a sly smile. 

Ali and Ashlyn both gave a light chuckle. “Can't wait to welcome you to the soccer mom club.” Ashlyn said as she gave Lauren a hug and walked her to the hotel room door. They all said their goodnights and Ashlyn shut the door behind her and turned to her wife. 

“Did we just get asked for advice on parenting?” the goalkeeper asked in disbelief. 

Ali giggled. “I believe we did.” 

“Huh?” Ashlyn marveled as she sat back on the bed beside her wife. She looked at her wife with a stupid, cheesy grin, “Who would have thought it? Just some scared young parents a mere 5 months ago and now we’re giving advice.”

Ali just shook her head and leaned in to give her wife a kiss.


End file.
